personalquest

In my last post I mentioned that I will start excerising from next week. But I got a treadmill in my living room which staring at me! I thought I might aswel stop being freaking lazy and actually do it.

Its a manual treadmill which is on fixed incline. I am finding its the double the work from the motorised treadmill as  I am going up hill non stop.

I put some music on and faced it . Just told my self its better I  start now then later. Manage only 15 mins but I feel so much better. I done that few hours ago. Once I finish writing this post,  I will go on it again for another 15 mins.

Going to this for the next 7 days. 15 mins in the morning and in the evening again for another 15 mins. 30 mins in total everyday.

My parents been trying to set me up with some one for marriage. They gave me plenty of choices but over the years i kept on refusing … Finally I met some one that intrigues me to find out more…

We are simply just finding more about each other; talking about all kind of things; all through letters! We havent met or exchanged emails or spoke over the phone yet. I wana take things slowly. Once I get comfortable I would love to meet him. So far we have wrote to each other few times. Each time I recieve his letters I  get all excited!!!

I dont know where this will lead us to. If we dont get married I know I would love to keep contact with him as friends. Just maybe hes the one. God knows best and only time will tell what will come out of this…

Out of all this I started to look forward to some thing. Theres a  new hope in my life. If not him I would find some one else who would like for who I am

I stopped craving for food. I dont rely on food as my comfort. In the next few days i will start some sort of excerise. But for now I am focusing on being happy…

Hi Everyone,

I have been away for few weeks just been busy with my studies i still got few assignment to hand in by 7th January then i am all finished

It was my birthday last month and i celebrated it with my family and I had a good time. Now the year has started I have gone back to working out. Its getting there very slowly! But i am enjoying it.

Now i got to sort my meals and find interesting recipes. Lately when i eat I find every thing taste tasteless nothing seem interesting and no matter how much i eat i never feel full. Yep that my weird update

I am tempted by chocolates, pizza anything unhealthy with millions calories in it lol. Every where I look I see people either buying it or munching on it. I just look in amazement and think ‘how the FUCK they don’t put any weight on!!!!!!!!! (I wouldn’t dare say it allowed)

I have started to watch what I eat. I am having small meals through out the day and managed to do 45 minutes of aerobics exercise. I have heavy period that drains my energy and I feel like curling up in bed and staying there! But I know I got to move otherwise I get bored and start munching on stuff.  

Sorry for not writing for so long. My computer refused to work its got a mind of its own which drives me nuts!!! I have been feeling really miserable lately and I didn’t have much to say so I didn’t update my blog for while. I have been going through a period of mood swings, non stop crying and really bad stomach bug. Tell you the truth there’s some nights I cant sleep at all. My eyes are closed but my mind racing with thoughts… sad memories which I’m so good at ignoring is now coming back to haunt me. I have been crying for all sort of reasons things to do with my past and things that happening right now. So I’m pretty much lost… 

Last Friday was Eid so we went to London for the day. I sent time with my crazy relatives then came back home. As a child I used to look for ward to family gatherings. Catching up with all the cousins eating delicious food playing board or computer games - time used to fly by so quickly. But now, all of us are grown up and we aren’t as close as we used to be. It’s sad that there is a silent war between the cousins, with who got the best job, most money, car, who’s skinniest!!!!…endless competition and jealousy. For me though nothing much has changed. To me they are my precious cousins not only that they are my sisters…. Hopefully one day they will value my friendship and love I have for them

I really need to increase the intake of water! My skin is sooooooo dry. No matter how much I apply cream or lotion to my body, it still get dry with in a hour. My face is effecting the most -  its stretching so much…

Before I joined this site I already started working out for the last 5 weeks. I tried out different exercises to see which activities I like doing and to see how long I can last with out collapsing with exhaustion… lol

So 2 weeks ago on (07/11/09) Friday I met up with a friend of mine. And I wore a new jeans which was brought 3 months backs. When I tried it on back then it was tightly fitted around my thigh and zip just about goes up with out breaking…lol

But that Friday when I wore it, Oh My God it kept falling!!! My journey there, to the coffee shop was a nightmare! It was heavily raining and my jeans was so loose I was really paranoid it would just fall right to the ground any second… I am laughing now as I’m writing right this… back then I was sooo freaking annoyed with my self. Instead of meeting up with my friend for a  coffee.  I took her around all the shops just to find a belt that is big enough to go around my waist and cheap enough to buy!

While standing at the  counter I realised that I haven’t brought any belt for 10 years because what ever I wore always snugly fitted me…

I became so confident with my weight loss, I got too relax and started eating carelessly (crème biscuits, melted cheese on toast or jam on toasts, pizzas … the list is endless)  and to it served me right. That jeans I only wore once (on 7 th November). I wore it today. It didn’t fit me at all. The zip didn’t even go up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was so mad with my self this morning. Even looking in the mirror I can see my face has become fuller… I really need to watch what I eat and work out more…

I went to a shop and weighed my self and I wasn’t happy with my results its said 14st 10lbs.      I felt really miserable… I wont be sad anymore because I know I will see changes soon…